"Where then does wisdom come from?
Where does understanding dwell?
It is hidden from the eyes of every living thing,
concealed even from the birds of the air.
Destruction and Death say
'Only a rumour of it has reached our ears.'
God understands the way to it,
and He alone knows where it dwells,
for He views the ends of the earth
and sees everything under the heavens.
When He established the force of the wind
and measured out the waters,
When He made a decree for the rain
and a path for the thunderstorm,
then He looked at wisdom and appraised it
He confirmed and tested it.
And He said to man,
'The fear of the Lord - that is wisdom
and to shun evil is understanding' "
- Job 28: 20-28

Living in the fear of the Lord and shunning evil. May that be our desire in the coming year.

I'm giving You my heart, and all that is within
I lay it all down, for the sake of You my King.
I'm giving You my dreams, I'm laying down my rights,
I'm giving up my pride, for the promise of new life.

And I surrender, all to You, all to You
And I surrender, all to You, all to You

I'm singing You this song
I'm waiting at the cross
And all the world holds dear
I count it all as loss
For the sake of knowing You
For the glory of Your Name,
To know the lasting joy
Even sharing in Your pain

-Surrender

Matthew 16:24-25

one of my treasured christmas gifts this year. small, yet meaningful. :)

On the discipline of possessions...

"The first lesson is that things are given by God
...Make no mistake, my friends. All good giving, every perfect gift, comes from above, from the Father of the lights of heaven....

The second lesson is that things are given us to be received with thanksgiving.
...We should be thankful. Thanksgiving requires the recognition of the Source. It implies contentment with what is given, not complaint about what is not given. It excludes covetousness....

The third lesson is that things can be material for sacrifice.
...The Father pours out His blessings on us; we, His creatures, receive them with open hands, give thanks, and lift them up as an offering back to Him, thus completing the circle."

-Taken from "Discipline, the glad surrender" by Elisabeth Elliot

Even as we approach the season of giving and receiving, let us not forget the Giver of all good gifts, who gave us the most precious Gift we could ever receive, and in response, offer whatever we have back to Him.

remember this picture? haha.. it came to my mind again as i was just reflecting

was at AH today, observing a pharmacist run the anticoagulation clinic, when she turned to me and said this "you can obtain knowledge anytime, but you need the passion to get and keep you going."

i know what i have the passion for, i wonder whether that is the path God wants me to take. and i wonder if i have the courage to move towards that end.

the week that just passed was simply an amazing week. youth camp 07 was one answered prayer. the way God protected us and provided for us was simply amazing. i cannot even begin to put it in words. as i sit back and reflect, i am always left in awe of how God was working and moving among the youths.

really enjoyed the time spent with the youths. my group, some of the younger girls, and some senior youths too. i realize how much i've missed out over the past few years, when i busied myself with doing other things rather than spending time with people. the time spent playing games, just talking and having fun was priceless. rolling watermelons in front of old chang kee, doing the baywatch run, and dancing around the totem pole at city hall were just crazy, but memorable.

even as the camp has ended, the challenge for all is to stay real, to walk that narrow road, always holding on tightly to the hand of our Lord.

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow is the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."- Matthew 7: 13-14

"Discipline is the believer's answer to God's call. It is the recognition, not of the solution to his problems or the supply of his needs, but of mastery. God addresses us. We are responsible- that is, we must make a response. We may choose to say yes and thus fulfill the Creator's glorious purpose for us, or we may say no and violate it. This is what is meant by moral responsibility. God calls us to freedom, fulfillment, and joy - but we can refuse them. In a deep mystery, hidden in God's purposes for man before the foundation of the world, lies the truth of man's free will and God's sovereignty. This much we know: a God who is sovereign chose to create a man capable of willing his own freedom and therefore capable of answering the call.

Jesus, in response to the will of the Father, demonstrated what it means to be fully human when He took upon Himself the form of a man and in so doing voluntarily and gladly chose both dependence and obedience. Humanity for us, as for Christ, means both dependence and obedience.......

....... Discipline is the whole-hearted yes to the call of God. When I know myself called, summoned, addressed, taken possession of, known, acted upon, I have heard the Master. I put myself gladly, fully, and forever at His disposal, and to whatever He says my answer is yes."

- Discipline, the glad surrender. By Elisabeth Elliot

"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'
- Mark 12: 29-30

While looking for past youth photos to feast my eyes on (yes, i know i should be mugging hard), I chanced upon this Bible Brain Busters book which someone gave my brother awhile back. It's a good youth resource, because the way it puts forth Bible trivia is very interesting. My brother and I spent some time testing each other and had an incredible amount of fun.

Here's one example from just one of the many categories:

Identify the mystery person.
Heritage: My dad's name was Amoz
Occupation: A prophet
Favourite pasttime: Writing biographies of kings (I wrote two)
Favourite outfit: A mourner's coat
Memorable phrases I've coined: Wonderful Counselor, Prince of Peace
Personal philosophy: You don't always see the fruits of your labour, but you work anyway.
Biggest embarrassment: Naming my son. Maher-shalal-hash-baz.

Interesting eh?

reading week.

i dont' really know how to describe what was going on over the past two days. in between the mugging and hanging out with the youths was this sense of helpless pleading for God's deliverance for someone who has been so instrumental in my life this year.

on one hand, it was a struggle to surrender the outcome and acknowledge God's sovereignty. on the other, His peace did flow like a river and it transcended all understanding. though there still lingers some uncertainty, i really thank God for the successful op today.

indeed, those who trust Him wholly find Him wholly true.

Like a river glorious, is God's perfect peace,
Over all victorious, in its bright increase;
Perfect, yet it floweth, fuller every day,
Perfect, yet it groweth, deeper all the way.
Stayed upon Jehovah, hearts are fully blest
Finding, as He promised, perfect peace and rest.

Hidden in the hollow of His blessed hand,
Never foe can follow, never traitor stand;
Not a surge of worry, not a shade of care,
Not a blast of hurry touch the spirit there.
Stayed upon Jehovah, hearts are fully blest
Finding, as He promised, perfect peace and rest.

Every joy or trial falleth from above,
Traced upon our dial by the Sun of Love;
We may trust Him fully all for us to do.
They who trust Him wholly find Him wholly true.
Stayed upon Jehovah, hearts are fully blest
Finding, as He promised, perfect peace and rest.


Stayed upon Jehovah, hearts are fully blest
Finding as He promised, perfect peace and rest.

"If God wants you to trust Him, He puts you in a place of difficulty. If He wants you to trust Him greatly, He puts you in a place of impossibility. For when a thing is impossible, then we who are so prone to move things by the force of our own being can say, 'Lord, it has to be you. I am utterly, absolutely nothing.' "
-Donald Gray Barnhouse

Heh, I read this quote in one of my books today.

"On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross,
the emblem of suffering and shame;
and I love that old cross where the dearest and best
for a world of lost sinners was slain.

So I'll cherish the old rugged cross,
till my trophies at last I lay down;
I will cling to the old rugged cross,
and exchange it some day for a crown.

O that old rugged cross, so despised by the world,
has a wondrous attraction for me;
for the dear Lamb of God left His glory above
to bear it to dark Calvary.

In that old rugged cross, stained with blood so divine,
a wondrous beauty I see,
for 'twas on that old cross Jesus suffered and died,
to pardon and sanctify me.

To the old rugged cross I will ever be true;
its shame and reproach gladly bear;
then He'll call me some day to my home far away,
where His glory forever I'll share."

haha, i do feel like this is where i am now.

Brokenness
Total obedience
Building intentional relationships
The centrality of the Word
Total dependence on God

These themes have been running through my mind all weekend.

I don't really know how to link this, but this article was a good reminder for me to put Jesus first and to remember that my passion for whatever I do has to come from Jesus alone.

http://www.jesusinside.pe.kr/jesus-first.htm

It'll be a good reminder for all who are serving actively. :) Sorry for the lack of HTML knowledge.

"Sing joyfully to the Lord, you righteous;
it is fitting for the upright to praise Him.
Praise the Lord with the harp;
make music to Him on the ten-stringed lyre.
Sing to Him a new song;
play skillfully, and shout for joy.
For the Word of the Lord is right and true;
He is faithful in all He does.
The Lord loves righteousness and justice;
the earth is full of His unfailing love.
By the Word of the Lord were the heavens made,
their starry host by the breath of His mouth.
He gathers the waters of the sea into jars;
He puts the deep into storehouses.
Let all the earth fear the Lord;
let all the people of the world revere Him.
For He spoke, and it came to be;
He commanded, and it stood firm.
The Lord foils the plans of the nations;
He thwarts the purposes of the peoples.
But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever,
the purposes of His heart through all generations.
Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord,
the people He chose for His inheritance.
From heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind;
from His dwelling place He watches all who live on earth-
He who forms the hearts of all,
who considers everything they do.
No king is saved by the size of his army;
no warrior escapes by his great strength.
A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
despite all its great strength it cannot save.
But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear Him,
on those whose hope is in His unfailing love,
to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine.
We wait in hope for the Lord;
He is our help and our shield.
In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy Name.
May Your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord,
even as we put our trust in You."
-Psalm 33

i wish i could put into words what i am feeling now, or even put up songs to depict what i'm thinking.
but i can't, don't think it's very appropriate.

all i can do is trust and depend on God.

Psalms 33:18-22

In the middle of a very trying week, this is all I can say:

"Into Your hand, I commit again
With all I am, for You Lord.
You hold my world, in the palm of Your hand
And I am Yours, forever.

Jesus I believe in You, Jesus I belong to You
You're the reason that I live, the reason that I sing
With all I am.

I'll walk with You, wherever You go
With tears and joy, I'll trust in You
And I will live in all of Your ways
And Your promises, forever."


I'm just going to trust You.

some things just need to be laughed about instead of being brooded over. heh

i came out of dispensing lab test today upset with myself for not managing my time in there properly and brooding over my unfinished and half-baked prescription form. was whining away to sarah on the way to the bus stop.

but after awhile, i realised that no use crying over spilt milk and to focus on the hilarious parts of dispensing lab would make my perspective a tad bit more light-hearted. heh heh. like one of the lecturers exclaiming "why you keep on calling me? your pharmacy no business ah? very free issit?" and other funny things like all of us scrambling for the trolley at 5pm, and the things peiru did which she is telling me about now.

one day we will all sit and reminisce, look back on these things and laugh them off.

presenting........... the 85s!!!

well, not all of us. but with nick. :)

Offer yourselves completely to God

'"So," Paul says "take your body; take all the tasks that you have to do every day; take the ordinary work of the shop, the office, the factory, the shipyard, the mine; and offer all that as an act of worship to God..."

True worship is the offering to God of one's body and all that one does every day with it. Real worship is not the offering to God of a liturgy, however noble, and a ritual, however magnificent. Real worship is the offering of everyday life to Him'
- The New Daily Study Bible; The Letter to the Romans, William Barclay



"The point is this: Everything on earth (except sin) can be done as an act of worship to God. Everything we do is worship when we do it for Him, displaying His face as we go.
The question is not what you do, it's who you do it for.
Your calling is to turn your place in life into a place of true worship.
To do whatever you do in a way that will reflect God's heart to those around you.
It's to worship... as you live your life."
- The Air I Breathe, Louie Giglio


All this is taken from "The Worshipping Artist" by Rory Noland

"Worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness!
Bowing before Him, His glory proclaim;
With gold of obedience and incense of lowliness
Kneel and adore Him; the Lord is His Name.

Fear not to enter His presence in poverty
Bearing no gifts to present as your own
Bring truth in its beauty and love in its purity
These are the offerings to lay at His throne."

"Oh,what I would do
To have the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth"
-Voice of Truth, Casting Crowns

'Because this trait is so interdependent on created man, a godly woman must "find a man who commands her respect and wins her love; to please, be beautiful for, desired and cherished by such a man."'

Haha, this is only two lines out of the whole article. To read the rest of it, go to boundless and look for "Becoming a godly woman".

now i feel terribly silly. oh well.

"In His time, In His time
He makes all things beautiful in His time
Lord please show me every day
As You're teaching me Your way
That You do just what You say
In Your time

In Your time, in Your time
You make all things beautiful in Your time
Lord my life to You I bring
May each song I have to sing
Be to You a lovely thing
In Your time."

He has and will continue to make everything beautiful in His time. :)

"The sun cannot compare to the glory of Your love
There is no shadow in Your Presence
No mortal man would dare to stand before Your throne
Before the Holy One of heaven
Its' ony by Your Blood and it's only through Your mercy
Lord I come

I bring an offering of worship to my King
No one on earth deserves the praises that I sing
Jesus may You receive the honour that You're due
O Lord I bring an offering to You"
-Offering by Paul Baloche


After a heavy afternoon of talking through the worship module, I headed to the Suntec area seriously brain-drained and exhausted. It was during my time on the bus that I really yearned for a time-out time with God, so I hopped off the bus and walked over to the esplanade park, iPod plugged into my ears.

As I walked and watched the sun getting ready to set, this particular song was playing.. Somehow, listening to the lyrics made me want to cry. I've always loved sunsets, because they're not only beautiful but they display God's glory (to me at least). I loved watching the sunsets in Canada. But the first line of the song struck me hard. The sun, in all its beauty, cannot compare to the glory of God's love.. God's wonderful love for His people which led Him to the cross, so that we have access to Him. There was also this sense of God's holiness in the verse...

I guess it was a good time to think about what offering of worship I was bringing to my King, in particular, today, which happened to be a rather eventful and thought-provoking day.

Interestingly, after that short time alone with God, I felt more ready to spend the evening ahead with my friends. :)

Take time to be holy, speak oft with thy Lord;
Abide in Him always, and feed on His Word,
Make friends of God's children, help those who are weak;
Forgetting in nothing His blessing to seek.
Take time to be holy, the world rushes on;
Spend much time in secret with Jesus alone.
By looking to Jesus like Him thou shalt be;
Thy friends in thy conduct His likeness shall see.

-William D. Longstaff and George C. Stebbins

"We are a moment, You are forever
Lord of the ages, God before time
We are a vapour, You are eternal
Love everlasting, reigning on high

Holy, holy Lord God Almighty
Worthy is the Lamb who was slain
Highest praises, honour and glory
Be unto Your Name

We are the broken, You are the Healer
Jesus Redeemer, mighty to save
You are the Love Song we'll sing forever
Bowing before You, blessing You name"
-Be unto Your Name

" For attaining wisdom and discipline;
for understanding words of insight;
for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life,
doing what is right and just and fair;
for giving prudence to the simple,
knowledge and discretion to the young-
let the wise listen and add to their learning,
and let the discerning get guidance-
for understanding proverbs and parables,
the sayings and riddles of the wise.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and discpline."
- Proverbs 1:1-7

It wasn't until last night after BSF that I decided to go and look up the hymn story behind "The Church's One Foundation". And it's amazing to discover the richness of the whole thing, the emotion Samuel J. Stone experienced then to write such beautiful lyrics.

It was during that period that major religious differences arose amonng Anglican clerics in both England and South Africa, and the Church of England was being attacked by various heresies and the Bible was subject to criticism. Apparently, an influential Anglican bishop had started to spread dangerous teachings and had gathered a significant following. Thefundamental tenets of the Anglican church were being challenged, and divisions in the Church were starting to occur.

All this stirred Stone to write the hymn, bringing everyone back to the Truth, that the Church's One foundation is none other than Jesus. I realise the story behind it makes the hymn come alive even more. And aren't these lyrics applicable even now? In an era where there is no absolute truth and there are so many weird theories and teachings being propagated about the person of Jesus?

In the hymn, I also find a call to hope. Hope that one day, the Truth will come to light, that the Church shall never perish, and the greatest hope that Jesus will come for His bride again.

"The Church’s one foundation
Is Jesus Christ her Lord,
She is His new creation
By water and the Word.
From heaven He came and sought her
To be His holy bride;
With His own blood He bought her
And for her life He died.

She is from every nation,
Yet one o’er all the earth;
Her charter of salvation,
One Lord, one faith, one birth;
One holy Name she blesses,
Partakes one holy food,
And to one hope she presses,
With every grace endued.

The Church shall never perish!
Her dear Lord to defend,
To guide, sustain, and cherish,
Is with her to the end:
Though there be those who hate her,
And false sons in her pale,
Against both foe or traitor
She ever shall prevail.

Though with a scornful wonder
Men see her sore oppressed,
By schisms rent asunder,
By heresies distressed:
Yet saints their watch are keeping,
Their cry goes up, “How long?”
And soon the night of weeping
Shall be the morn of song!

’Mid toil and tribulation,
And tumult of her war,
She waits the consummation
Of peace forevermore;
Till, with the vision glorious,
Her longing eyes are blest,
And the great Church victorious
Shall be the Church at rest."

"This is my Father's world.
O let me ne'er forget
that though the wrong seems oft so strong,
God is the ruler yet.
This is my Father's world:
why should my heart be sad?
The Lord is King; let the heavens ring!
God reigns; let the earth be glad!

This song came to me after I woke up from a bad dream.

heh.. presenting the spinelli's gang! :) yes, i have succumbed to temptation and bought a spinelli's friend's card due to my frequent trips there to buy the chocolate mint spin.

"You will never walk alone
As long as you have faith
Jesus will be right beside you all the way
You may feel you're far from home
But home is where He is
And He'll be there down every road
You will never walk alone"
-Point of Grace

What a day!

I spent my Science of Music lecture this morning trying to wrestle my gmail account away from a would-be hacker, who turned out to be my dad. He thought my gmail inbox was in the hard-drive of the laptop I just handed over to him. So there went my whole inbox, trashed right into cyberbin.

After that, in a bid to get the exclamation mark key on my laptop to work again, I spent 45 minutes on the phone with the apple help guy. The perils of a Macbook.. -mutters-

But it wasn't all that bad. Today, I stepped into the Yong Siew Toh Music Library for the first time, looking for jazz, swing and bossa nova CDs. Well, I didn't see any CDs, but I found several hidden gems to possibly help me while I write some lessons for the worship module. Even if they don't, church music and music therapy books are reason enough for me to camp in the music library during my mid-semester break.

The piano performance I went to at night was really interesting, though we only managed to watch the guy Albert Tiu play from the small screen outside. He was playing a full piano piece with his right hand only. Very impressive..

And I managed to glean much from Greg Ogden's "Transforming Discipleship" on the ride back in the MRT.

Now I'm sitting next to my mum who is relating her experience at the dentist to my brother and I.

What a day!

Happiness is to know the Saviour,
Living a life within His favour,
Having a change in my behaviour,
Happiness is the Lord.

Happiness is a new creation,
Jesus and me in close relation,
Having a part in His salvation,
Happiness is the Lord.

Real joy is mine, no matter if teardrops start;
I've found the secret, it's Jesus in my heart!

Happiness is to be forgiven,
Living a life that's worth the living,
Taking a trip that leads to Heaven,
Happiness is the Lord.

i trust in a God who can.

haha.. i thought that was a pretty funny shot.

for crazier pictures and shots of and with the birthday girl, go to my multiply site.

We celebrated my grandfather's 82nd birthday just now.

Somehow the atmosphere this year was different. I can't remember if we lighted candles in the previous years, but this year, there was this sense of warmth in the air. Like we were so happy we can celebrate his birthday for him and the feeling that he really is so important to all of us.

Maybe it's just me.. I realise thru his whole illness the past few months, how much I treasure him and my grandmother. And I realise I really cannot take their presence for granted anymore.

Enjoyed myself very much tonight, talking to my relatives, catching up on what they've been up to. Especially enjoyed talking to liz.. She encourages me everytime I talk to her, simply by being who she is.

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
And to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus says the Lord!”

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!

"We bow our hearts, we bend our knees
O Spirit come make us humble
We turn our eyes, from evil things
O Lord we cast down our idols

Give us clean hands, give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls to another
Give us clean hands, give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls to another

O God let us be a generation that seeks
That seeks Your Face, O God of Jacob"
-Give us clean hands

When I played this song during worship rehearsal on Thurs and again today during service, I was on the verge of tears, because it is really the cry of my heart. For myself, for the youths, for our generation.

I want God to keep humbling me, so that I will never think I can do anything without Him. I want us to be a youth ministry which really seeks God's face and to turn from the idols in our lives.

this morning, as i waited in the pouring rain for matthan to come to my rescue, i thought up two cheesy, but pretty apt analogies. :)

1. God doesn't stop the rain in our lives from pouring down on us, but He does send good friends along to save the day. (in my case, that good friend came in a car)

2. just like God sends rain to make the grass and flowers grow, He also sends rain in our lives to help us grow in Him.

hah.. i know it's pretty cheesy. but true right???

"There is a hope so sure
A promise so secure
The mystery of God
At last made known
Treasures so vast appear
All wisdom, knowledge here
It’s Christ in us
The hope of glory!

And the life that I now live
No longer is my own
Jesus lives in me
The hope of glory
And each day I live
No longer is my own
Jesus lives in me
The hope of glory

There is a life so true
A life of love so pure
For all our sin
A perfect sacrifice
And when that life was nailed
On cruel cross impaled
Our sinful flesh
With him was crucified

There is a life so strong
That a whole world of wrong
And all the powers of hell
Could not defeat
For Jesus rose again
And if we died with him
With him we’ll rise
To share his endless life"
-There is a hope so sure, Graham Kendrick

"But a biblical Christian is not just someone who holds certain beliefs about the Bible. He or she is also someone who leads the kind of life demonstrated in the Bible: a life of personal, intelligent interaction with God. Anything less than this makes a mockery of the priesthood of the believer."
-Hearing God, Dallas Willard

Friends

Heh.. the past few months have been a long journey for me. There were times it got so tough and tiring I wanted to stop and run away. There were times I could do nothing but sit before God and beg Him to hear me.

This morning, I woke up feeling abit upset again, but I paused and started thinking of things I could thank God for. And truly, there are so many people who have encouraged me in different ways..

Bernie, you know I still keep the 2 blog posts you wrote for me. Today I opened the file again and read through, and I realise how much you've been a blessing to me. How much you've encouraged me to hold my head high and trust God. :)I hope I'll be able to support another sister like you have supported me.

Yiling, as we sang "What a friend we have in Jesus" the other day, I remembered you sending me the song one day before good friday and encouraging me to fix my eyes only upon Him. I also remembered how you egged me on to study for my exams.

There are many other people who have blessed me abundantly, but I just wanted to remember the two of you today, because you have encouraged me so much and walked with me over the past few years. And as I look at the both of you, I can only thank God for His love and faithfulness to you. Indeed, He who has started His good work in you will bring it to completion. So press on, dear sisters, and thank you! :)

i love being outdoors.

"The God of Israel spoke,the Rock of Israel said to me:
'When one rules over men in righteousness, when he rules in the fear of God,
he is like the light of morning at sunrise on a cloudless morning,
like the brightness after rain that brings the grass from the earth.'"
-2 Samuel 23:3-4

This passage made me pause and reflect on my attitude toward leadership.

Choose the most difficult path and trust Me with it.

That's what I heard then, and that's what I'm hearing now..

"Truth forever on the scaffold, Wrong forever on the throne-
Yet that scaffold sways the future, And behind the dim unknown
Standeth God within the shadow, Keeping watch above His own."
-Excerpt from "The Present Crisis", James Russell Lowell

"And this Kingdom will know no end,
And it's glory shall know no bounds.
For the majesty and power
Of this Kingdom's King has come.
And this Kingdom's reign,
And this Kingdom's rule,
And this Kingdom's power and authority
Jesus, God's righteousness revealed."
-This Kingdom, Geoff Bullock

Amen to that.

Hmmmm, somehow, I still miss this place very much. Though I wasn't very actively involved in service, I was really ministered to by the services and would have liked to spend more time there.

Heh.. this is a very interesting quote I got from the bulletin this week:

There's a difference between interest and commitment. In a meal of bacon and eggs, the chicken is involved but the pig is committed.
The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonist one. Commitment is healthiest when it is not without doubt but in spite of doubt."
- Rollo May

I still think about Canada from time to time. Still wishing that somehow I can go back there again.

bye dearest fi.. i'll miss you very very much.

Maybe I'm not trying hard enough. But it's so tough, bearing this alone.

"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."
-Psalms 46:10

In the past, I used to turn to this verse whenever I was in distress or upset over something, needing the assurance that no matter the situation, God is God alone. I turned to this verse whenever I wanted to see God as a victorious God who reigned over all the earth.

This morning, God took me a step further than that. He asked what my response to Him would be, knowing that He is God. Would I respond in obedience, wanting to do whatever He wanted me to do and taking up my cross to follow Him? Or would I respond wilfully, stubbornly wanting my own way?

You Are An ISFJ

The Nurturer You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal. A good listener, you excel at helping others in practical ways. In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music. You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for. In love, you express your emotions through actions. Taking care of someone is how you love them. And you do it well! At work, you do well in a structured environment. You complete tasks well and on time. You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist. How you see yourself: Competent, dependable, and detail oriented When other people don't get you, they see you as: Boring, dominant, and stuck in a rut

What's Your Personality Type?

my six weeks at the Medicine Shoppe has come to a close. i'm so gonna miss everyone. it's been so enjoyable. thank God.



so there's bob, smiley charles and i in one picture, and lisa, kristen and i in the other. :)

i really hope somehow i get the chance to go back there again someday.

hah. this song grew on me. it's one of charles'(one of my colleagues) favourites..

we went to visit 2 festivals today, "the works", an art festival and the edmonton international jazz festival. there was this street stage at the works, which was at winston churchill square.

so we bought buffalo fries and a drink each and sat down to watch this country song performance by a few young people. it was pretty good, now i understand why american idol/canadian idol standards are so much higher than that of those back home. i uploaded a video of my favourite performer on my multiply site. she has a very good voice and pretty good stage skills as well. too bad the video quality on my camera wasn't that good.. could hear the wind blowing away. i wanted to upload a video of my favourite dancer too, but figured it wouldn't be very edifying. heh.

the jazz performance was abit of a disappointment, maybe cos we were stingy enough just to take a look at the free one. it was like sitting at any hotel lounge listeinng to the pianist play. and we had to order expensive food from the hotel. grrr.. so sarah and i got err.. hot wings! here are some pictures...

hmmm...

By order of Ms Sarah Tang, I have been tasked to report my glaring mistake at Kingsway Mall today. Sigh. Read on if you are interested:

Today, we set out after lunch, first to visit Sarah's patient at Rosedale Manor. We spent about 1 hour plus with her and then walked down to Kingsway.

So we walked past this One dollar shop. And because both of us had this Singaporean mentality, the immediate reaction was, "Let's go in." So in we went. There were really alot of great deals and I bought many things. So both of us chanced upon this box of fabric softeners for $1 per box! Yah, like a typical singaporean.. I started to think "cheap cheap cheap".... SO I got one box without hesitation. Sarah was commenting that she could bring the extras home to Singapore and I concurred I could do the same. Besides, it smelt pretty nice and the thought of my clothes smelling like Lavendar was quite welcoming.

After about 2 hours of shopping, we headed back. Walking back to Lister Hall from the LRT, we were chatting away. Suddenly, I stopped in my tracks and asked Sarah whether she had a dryer at home in Singapore, because FABRIC SOFTENERS were used ONLY in dryers! Well, turns out she did.. and well, I didn't. So there.

When we got back to my room, Sarah had one extra box of fabric softeners to bring home to use. -grin- ain't I generous!

Every Wednesday at the pharmacy, I would help prepare syringes for this lady in her late thirties who is suffering from cancer. Because she cannot swallow properly, she needs to be tube-fed. Sometimes, we would need to prepare syringes on Friday as well. And occasionally, her husband would come by personally to collect them.

Yesterday, as usual, I prepared those syringes. As I struggled to stick the labels nicely on them, Bob was telling me it didnt' make much of a difference since her husband had been tube-feeding her for ages and he didn't really need to look at labels anymore. I asked whether her husband had to work, cos tube-feeding a cancer patient four times a day was really no joke. He said he did, and he'd do it three times a day, the only time he didn't do it was at noon, when he was at work. During that time, a homecare nurse would take over. Then he added, "pretty dedicated man, i must say".

Boy do i have to agree. "in sickness and in health.... till death do us part." That phrase came to me as I worked on those syringes. Living out those vows he made back at the altar. His wife probably wasn't looking her best now, but nonetheless, the kind of dedication and love he has for her is truly commendable.

some pictures of jasper. the rest are on my multiply site.

"When through the woods, and forest glades I wander,
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees.
When I look down, from lofty mountain grandeur
And see the brook, and feel the gentle breeze.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!"

This verse really stood out at me this weekend as i spent it at Jasper, the Canadian Rockies. I really loved it there. In fact, i was pretty depressed when I headed back to Edmonton.

Yeah, the mountains and the lakes are soooo splendid. They were really very majestic. Driving down the highways, listening to various hymns and contemporaries, it was amazing. I could identify with the Psalmist who wrote Psalms 148 then.

We had our own fair share of adventure too. Walking thru the forest towards buck lake, fearing black bears! (at least I was) Our hike up to the Valley of Five Lakes was memorable too. We were just across the lake from our destination when three hikers came towards us to tell us there were black bears along that particular trail, about 10-15 minutes away. heh. and boy, I was scared. OK, maybe a mix of fear and curiosity. I wanted to venture further, but something else inside me said "no" and "it'd be better to see a bear from the car than on a hike without bear spray" haha.. and those guys were so animated, it was hilarious really.

This past weekend was like a mini-retreat with God. At some points, it felt like I was in heaven. Sitting in front of a quiet, peaceful lake with a view of the mountains and hearing the sound of the trees rustling, simply awesome. Away from the computer, tv, etc. The only tv shows i remember watching in Jasper Town were uh.. Bugs Bunny and Shrek. Heh.

I definitely wanna go back there again. Maybe on my honeymoon. Me, my future partner and God! Heh.. 2 weeks in the Rocky Mountains, and it won't just be Jasper the next time! :)

"The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I'm alive
But I feel like I've died

And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
I feel like I'm slipping away

After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I wonder why God let me walk through this place

And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how You've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

Here and I am at the end of me (at the end of me)
Trying to hold to what I can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to Your promise there will be a dawn"

-Beauty from Pain, Superchick

heh.. i passed up the chance to go on an MEP pilgrimage. but it's alright, there'll always be another time.

up to jasper tomorrow, so i'll be missing for a few days.. will post up pictures when im back on multiply.

"You are God alone
From before time began
You were on Your throne
You are God alone
And right now
In the good times and bad
You are on Your throne
You are God alone"

-You are God alone,
Philips, Craig and Dean

"There's a cry in my heart
For Your glory to fall
For Your presence to fill up my senses
There's a yearning again
A thirst for discipline
A hunger for things that are deeper

Could You take me beyond?
Could You carry me through?
If I open my heart
Could I go there with You?
(For I've been here before
But I know there's still more
Oh, Lord, I need to know You)

For what do I have
If I don't have You, Jesus?
What in this life
Could mean any more?
You are my rock
You are my glory
You are the lifter
Of my head"

-Cry in my heart, Starfield

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

Ecc 3: 1-8, 11

By chance, I found this amazing songwriter. I haven't heard her music yet, except for about 2 songs, but I think her lyrics are worth looking at and her biography is worth reading, so look here and here.

"All things work for our good
Though sometimes we can't see how they could
Struggles that break our hearts in two
Sometimes blind us to the truth
Our Father knows what's best for us
His ways are not our own
So when your pathway grows dim
And you just can't see Him
Remember He's still on the throne

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart

He sees the master plan
He holds the future in His hands
So don't live as those who have no hope
All our hope is found in Him
We walk in present knowledge
but He sees the first and the last
And like a tapestry, He's weaving you and me
To someday be just like Him."

-Trust His heart

"Rushing wind, blow through this temple,
Blowing out the dust within;
Come and breathe Your breath upon me:
I've been born again.

Holy Spirit, I surrender; take me where You want to go.
Plant me by Your living water,
Plant me deep so I can grow.

Jesus, You’re the one who sets my spirit free;
Use me, Lord; glorify Your Holy Name through me.

Separate me from this world, Lord;
Sanctify my life for You.
Daily change me to Your image,
Help me bear good fruit.

Ev'ry day you're drawing closer;
Trials come to test my faith.
But when all is said and done, Lord,
You know it's been worth the wait."
-Rushing Wind, Keith Green

I composed this simple song while crying out to God in the piano room of Henday Hall. Decided to title it "Jehovah Rophe", the God who heals.

"In Your arms,
Only in Your arms
Can I find
Myself and my worth

Before Your throne
Only before Your throne
Will I dwell
In Your spring of comfort

You are my strength and song
You are my God of hope
And You promised me
Your grace is sufficient

In my weakness Lord,
There will Your strength prevail
And I'm trusting You
To make me whole again."


As personal as it is to me, may it also minister to anyone who needs God's touch..
No music for now.. haha i have no means of recording it.

"But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
-2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

Receiving grace to trust in the God who redeems..

"I don't know about tomorrow,
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from it's sunshine,
For it's skies may turn to gray.
I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said,
And today I'll walk beside Him,
For He knows what is ahead.
Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know Who holds tomorrow
And I know Who holds my hand."


This song came to me as I sat on the grass patch opposite my workplace during lunchtime.

It's pretty amazing how you could just forget. How life moves on like nothing went on. I wish I could too.

i finally got connected to my internet in my room, so will be replying emails soon! probably this evening when i get back from doing more administrative stuff. :) so bernie, yiling and yokes.. i will reply you all soon!

woah.. the past few days haven't been that easy.. scouting around for cheap food, buying groceries.. cost of living here is pretty high. you practically have to pay for everything, even the internet wire that connects my com to the internet jack in my room. and i must say, that internet jack is really in "high places". i had to put my desk chair on my bed and reach like mad to put the wire into the jack. grrr.

i've probably been pampered too much in vancouver. :)

the weather here is a little cold, but the sun makes all the difference. it's really dry though. my skin and lips have been peeling. scenery wise, i really love the trees and the clear blue sky! occasionally around campus, wild rabbits can be seen hopping around.

yeah. i've been spending the past few days reading quite abit as well. and enjoying my time alone with God. :)

ok more updates another day..

come tomorrow, i leave wonderful vancouver and board the plane to get to edmonton. it's been a really enjoyable week here. will blog more abt vancouver later. so tired.. heh.

this is what i've always wanted to see and experience. :)

going to seattle tomorrow!!!! =)=)

"To hear with my heart
To see with my soul
To be guided by a Hand I cannot hold
To trust in a way that I cannot see
That's what faith must be"
-That's what faith must be, Michael Card

okay.. besides the personal emails, i shall make general updates here!

today was pretty fun. the weather was good, sun was out, wasn't too cold so i could walk around with just one coat.

went to regent college with sarah.. thank God we had sarah's friend's aunt to drive us there and around the place from there. we met with soo yeong who brought us around regent.. showed us around the place. managed to get some books too! heh

after regent, we went down to Queen Elizabeth Park down Cambey.. East Vancouver. the flowers there were really pretty. so sarah and i had a field day taking pictures..

yup.. metrotown after that. browsed some shops.. had dinner.. then took a skytrain back downtown. tired now!

more pictures on my multiply site. yin.. u can just come here to look out for my itinery.. in vancouver at least. -grin-

enjoying the weather and scenery. i think im gonna get jetlagged cos it's 12am and im pretty hyper.

uh... go check out photos on my multiply site.. im abit too lazy to post them now.

alright. i'll email updates.. this blog will continue to be other-things-except-my-own-words-filled.

"My soul contemplates Your glory
I worship in holy awe
In quietness and in confident trust
I rest in all that You are
I'll sing to the world Your glory and grace
Until I behold Your face

Jesus, O Jesus, I give You my life;
Jesus, O Jesus, I give You my life."



Thank God for wonderful cousins!

"Just let me hear Your finest whispers
As You gently call my name
And let me see Your power and Your glory
Let me feel Your Spirit's flame
Let me find You in the desert
'Til this sand is holy ground
And I am found completely surrendered
To You, my Lord and friend"

this is worth a read.

A Woman's Question

"Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing
Ever made by the Hand above?
A woman's heart, and a woman's life--
And a woman's wonderful love.

Do you know you have asked for this priceless thing
As a child might ask for a toy?
Demanding what others have died to win
With the reckless dash of a boy.

You have written my lesson of duty out,
Manlike, you have questioned me.
Now stand at the bars of my woman's soul
Until I shall question thee.

You require your mutton shall always be hot,
Your socks and your shirt be whole;
I require your heart be as true as God's stars
And as pure as His heaven your soul.

You require a cook for your mutton and beef,
I require a far greater thing;
A seamstress you're wanting for socks and shirts---
I look for a man and a king.

A king for the beautiful realm called Home,
And a man that his Maker, God,
Shall look upon as He did on the first
And say: "It is very good."

I am fair and young, but the rose may fade
From this soft young cheek one day;
Will you love me then, 'mid the falling leaves
As you did 'mong the blossoms of May?

Is your heart an ocean so strong and true,
I may launch my all on its tide?
A loving woman finds heaven or hell
On the day she is made a bride.

I require all things that are grand and true,
All things that a man should be;
If you give this all, I would stake my life
To be all you demand of me.

If you cannot be this, a laundress and cook
You can hire and little to pay;
But a woman's heart and a woman's life
Are not to be won that way."

-Lena Lathrop

"May my life be my worship,
my life be my song,
May I praise You my Saviour,
all the day long.
From the sun in its rising,
to the night when it falls
May my life be my worship,
my life be my song."
-Life of Worship, Jon Bauer

at the end of my exams, these are the people i wanna thank God for:

1. for God Himself.. if not for Your grace, I wouldn't have been able to get through the past few weeks, much less the exams. Thank You for loving me so much more than i could ever imagine...

2. my family.. for all the rides to school, fries, encouragement, thank you all so much.

3. my mugging buddies and closest friends.. the 85s, janice, etc. for all the times we've spent in church/school going crazy, for all the crazy antics, for being there.. :)

4. the 88 girls. :)

5. for older sisters like annie and hilmay. 'nuff said.:)

"All the way my Savior leads me;
What have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt His tender mercy,
Who through life has been my Guide?
Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,
Here by faith in Him to dwell!
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well;
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well.

All the way my Savior leads me,
Cheers each winding path I tread;
Gives me grace for every trial,
Feeds me with the living Bread.
Though my weary steps may falter,
And my soul athirst may be,
Gushing from the Rock before me,
Lo! A spring of joy I see;
Gushing from the Rock before me,
Lo! A spring of joy I see.

All the way my Savior leads me
O the fullness of His love!
Perfect rest to me is promised
In my Father’s house above.
When my spirit, clothed immortal,
Wings its flight to realms of day
This my song through endless ages—
Jesus led me all the way;
This my song through endless ages—
Jesus led me all the way."
-All the way my Saviour leads me, Fanny Crosby

"Father let me dedicate all this life to Thee
In whatever worldly state Thou would have me be
Not from sorrow, pain or care, freedom dare I claim
This alone shall be my prayer, glorify Thy name

Can a child presume to choose where or how to live?
Can a father's love refuse all the best to give?
Let my glad heart, while it sings, Thee in all proclaim
And, whate'er the future brings, glorify Thy name"
-Father let me dedicate, Matt Redman

Truly this is my prayer.

"I cannot tell how silently He suffered,
As with His peace He graced this place of tears,
Or how His heart upon the cross was broken,
The crown of pain to three and thirty years.
But this I know, He heals the brokenhearted,
And stays our sin, and calms our lurking fear,
And lifts the burden from the heavy laden,
For yet the Savior, Savior of the world is here."

In this cold, hard world, I must always remember that I have a wise and loving God.

"Are you tired of chasing pretty rainbows?
Are you tired of spinning round and round?
Wrap up all those shattered dreams of your life
And at the feet of Jesus, lay them down.

Give them all, give them all, give them all to Jesus
Shattered dreams, wounded hearts, and broken toys.
Give them all, give them all, give them all to Jesus
And He will turn your sorrows into joy.

He never said you only see sunshine,
He never said there would be no rain.
He only promised a heart full of singing
About the very thing that once brought pain."

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."-Proverbs 31:30

May I be willing, Lord, to bear
Daily my cross for Thee;
Even Thy cup of grief to share,
Thou hast borne all for me.

Lest I forget Gethsemane,
Lest I forget Thine agony;
Lest I forget Thy love for me,
Lead me to Calvary.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Looking back
He sees it all
It was her first date the night he came to call

Her dad said son
Have her home on time
And promise me you’ll never leave her side

The way she laughed, the dress she wore
He’d never felt like this before

He was walking her home
And holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled it stole the breath right out of him
Down that old road
With the stars up above
He remembers where he was the night he fell in love
He was walking her home

Ten more years and a waiting room
At half past one
And the doctor said come in and meet your son

His knees went weak
When he saw his wife
She was smiling as she said he’s got your eyes

And as she slept he held her tight
His mind went back to that first night

He was walking her home
And holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled it stole the breath right out of him
Down that old road
With the stars up above
He remembers where he was the night he fell in love
He was walking her home


He walked her through the best days of her life
Sixty years together and he never left her side

A nursing home
At eighty-five
And the doctor said it could be her last night

And the nurse said Oh
Should we tell him now
Or should he wait until the morning to find out
But when they checked her room that night
He was laying by her side

Oh he was walking her home
And holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled when he said this is not the end
And just for a while they were eighteen And she was still more beautiful to him than anything
He was walking her home
He was walking her home

Looking back
He sees it all
It was her first date the night he came to call

-Mark Schultz - Walking Her Home
From the album Broken & Beautiful

About words....

Words.. -when we open our mouths, they come spewing out relentlessly.-
can build up.. but they can also tear down.......do u even realise...
can turn away wrath.. but they can also stir up anger.Proverbs 15:1
can bring healing.. but they can also crush the spirit.
can bring people together.. but can also tear them apart.
can glorify or dishonour God.
come from the heart..Proverbs 27:19


How then, should I glorify You with what I say?

one month on, one week more
one more test to go
before the great catch-up begins..

many things on my heart,
some left unsaid,
many desires,
swept up in a corner.

Boy, am i tired.

On hindsight, one months fly by really quickly. (when you're having fun)

I was relieved that I had made it when my exams finally ended, and looking forward to one month of good, solid rest. Before I knew it, school had started again. The holidays were memorable though. I still remember how I kept praying that I would hold out till the end of the exams because I didn't want to repeat the semester again. And God did.. I only landed in the hospital after that. Though it was horrible, I'm so thankful that I wasn't in that state one week earlier or later.

One month ago, I was waiting in anticipation for Joses' return. Before I knew it, it was time to go again. Though the loss stings me from time to time, I thank God for the month that passed.

Now i hope one month flies by really quickly while i'm in school.. so that CNY would come soon. heh.

and the madness starts again tmr. woohoo. hopefully this sem won't be as tough as last sem was. but im going easy on myself at least for the first few weeks! last sem has taught me that studying hard consistently could lead to me burning out and falling sick RIGHT before the exams. heh..

"Lord of past ages, Lord of this morning,
Lord of the future, help us we pray.
Teach us to trust You, love and obey You,
Crown You each moment Lord of today."