Thursday, June 23, 2005

Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are

- "who am i", casting crowns

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

time with God is always so refreshing! :)

day by day, and with each passing moment
strength i find to meet my trials here
trusting in my Father's wise bestowment
there's no cause for worry or for fear
He whose heart is kind beyond all measure
gives unto each day what He deems best
lovingly, it's part of pain and pleasure
mingling toil with peace and rest.


God's heart is really kind beyond all measure and our futures rest in His hands.. so trust in Him.

Friday, June 10, 2005

What the future holds, I really do not know
God-willing, I'll walk with you, no matter how far you go........






pray without ceasing - 1 Thessolonians 5:17

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

just got home from bible trail! the speaker was really good.. spoke on trials and how we should approach trials with joy, prayerfully and with a heart that desires to learn..

besides that, i saw my two cousins, ian and isaac. i rarely meet my extended family on my father's side nowadays. besides reunion dinner and my grandfather's bday, we hardly see each other. and seeing them today made me feel so mixed. happy cos i got to catch up with them abit, sad cos i really miss the times we spent playing together when we were young, and the fellowship we had. now i feel like we barely know each other.. each one of us carrying on with our own lives and only finding out abt each other through our grandparents.. or our bi-annual family gatherings. especially for ian, cos both of us really grew up together.. played together.. did mischievous things together! haha.. we even went to australia together when i was in pri 4! and learning that he'll be going into army soon, and might not even be able to come for my grandfather's bday celebration in september made me feel even worse. sometimes i wish what happened didn't happen at all. then things would be totally different.. but like what the speaker said.. God lets things happen for a reason. to let us grow through these trials. i decided, i will write letters to them tonight to pass them tomorrow! :)

something that struck me was also praying for my family.. all the more even as the end is near. this family is the only family on my dad's side who're entirely christian. all the more as christians in the family do we have to keep praying for God to have mercy on the rest of my family! this is something that's been on my heart.. my lack of perseverance and discipline in praying for my family.. both my mum and dad's side. :s

Thursday, June 02, 2005

a very eventful day today was.. from getting lost at woodlands checkpoint to receiving my exam results to going on an interesting church visit to watching madagascar! am i tired!

i set out early in the morning to go to aunty chiow khim's place.. took 966 all the way to woodlands.. it's an expressway bus so it was quite fast.. and then took 911 from the interchange. problem was i took the bus from the wrong berth, so the bus landed up going in the opposite direction, towards the woodlands checkpoint! i was quite dazed and scared when i realised i was lost.. just kept walking through the checkpoint mall.. and along the main road hoping to flag a cab, but there were none in sight. finally i walked till i reached cedric's (my cousin) house.. then i found my way back to the interchange.

along the way to woodlands.. it kinda struck me how selfish i've been in not spending more time talking to my cousins, cheryl and cedric, about God and attempting to bring them to church. in fact, i think i've put in zero effort in talking to them. i dunno how this thought came to mind, perhaps it's cos they live in woodlands too and i just asked them for directions yesterday. it's always been my aunt's greatest wish to see these two come to know God and accept Him one day. my mum had been nagging at my bro and i to make the effort but i don't think either of us have lifted a finger. this very morning, this issue was tugging relentlessly at my heartstrings as i asked God for forgiveness. i felt even more remorse as i thought about how i'd always lifted my unsaved friends and GB girls into God's hands and not even cared a hoot about my cousins. this shall not be the case anymore!

i had a good time talking to aunty chiow khim today. she's been one of those who's impacted my life in a huge way, having been my piano teacher since i was 4 years old. and she's the only person i've known so far who spoken to my dad in such a straightforward manner about accepting Christ. back then, i cringed as i saw my dad shift uncomfortably in his seat. today, i only wish there were more people like her, people who were willing to be bold for God. when i think about that, i feel ashamed that i am not able to be as bold as she is, to come right out and talk to my dad about salvation.

well, we talked about lots of stuff, mostly about teaching music, and church ministry. i mentioned to her my desire to further my studies in music when i graduate and she spoke to me about doing a masters in church music in singapore bible college. when she was telling me about it, i felt it was my dream course. it entails all the aspects of classical music and professional training, and added to that i will have to take bible electives. and it'll really apply especially in regard to music ministry in church. God willing, i'd really want to enrol in that course. well, she did give me a word of caution that was.. i can plan as much as i want now, but if it's not aligned to God's will, i may not get it, so i have to keep praying about this and endure my pharmacy course for now!! 3 more years!

speaking of which, really thank God for my results. they're rather average, but i can safely say i do not deserve the results which i got, for the amount of effort i put in. everything turned out like this cos God has been so gracious to me. phew! 2 sems down.. 6 more to go!

i'm actually too tired and shacked out to write about the church visit and madagascar now. so i'll do that another time! zzzzz....