back from bintan. :)

i stand at the beginning of another year, which is fraught with uncertainties, knowing that if God doesn't go with me, I dare not move.

"Where then does wisdom come from?
Where does understanding dwell?
It is hidden from the eyes of every living thing,
concealed even from the birds of the air.
Destruction and Death say
'Only a rumour of it has reached our ears.'
God understands the way to it,
and He alone knows where it dwells,
for He views the ends of the earth
and sees everything under the heavens.
When He established the force of the wind
and measured out the waters,
When He made a decree for the rain
and a path for the thunderstorm,
then He looked at wisdom and appraised it
He confirmed and tested it.
And He said to man,
'The fear of the Lord - that is wisdom
and to shun evil is understanding' "
- Job 28: 20-28

Living in the fear of the Lord and shunning evil. May that be our desire in the coming year.

I'm giving You my heart, and all that is within
I lay it all down, for the sake of You my King.
I'm giving You my dreams, I'm laying down my rights,
I'm giving up my pride, for the promise of new life.

And I surrender, all to You, all to You
And I surrender, all to You, all to You

I'm singing You this song
I'm waiting at the cross
And all the world holds dear
I count it all as loss
For the sake of knowing You
For the glory of Your Name,
To know the lasting joy
Even sharing in Your pain

-Surrender

Matthew 16:24-25

one of my treasured christmas gifts this year. small, yet meaningful. :)

On the discipline of possessions...

"The first lesson is that things are given by God
...Make no mistake, my friends. All good giving, every perfect gift, comes from above, from the Father of the lights of heaven....

The second lesson is that things are given us to be received with thanksgiving.
...We should be thankful. Thanksgiving requires the recognition of the Source. It implies contentment with what is given, not complaint about what is not given. It excludes covetousness....

The third lesson is that things can be material for sacrifice.
...The Father pours out His blessings on us; we, His creatures, receive them with open hands, give thanks, and lift them up as an offering back to Him, thus completing the circle."

-Taken from "Discipline, the glad surrender" by Elisabeth Elliot

Even as we approach the season of giving and receiving, let us not forget the Giver of all good gifts, who gave us the most precious Gift we could ever receive, and in response, offer whatever we have back to Him.

remember this picture? haha.. it came to my mind again as i was just reflecting

was at AH today, observing a pharmacist run the anticoagulation clinic, when she turned to me and said this "you can obtain knowledge anytime, but you need the passion to get and keep you going."

i know what i have the passion for, i wonder whether that is the path God wants me to take. and i wonder if i have the courage to move towards that end.

the week that just passed was simply an amazing week. youth camp 07 was one answered prayer. the way God protected us and provided for us was simply amazing. i cannot even begin to put it in words. as i sit back and reflect, i am always left in awe of how God was working and moving among the youths.

really enjoyed the time spent with the youths. my group, some of the younger girls, and some senior youths too. i realize how much i've missed out over the past few years, when i busied myself with doing other things rather than spending time with people. the time spent playing games, just talking and having fun was priceless. rolling watermelons in front of old chang kee, doing the baywatch run, and dancing around the totem pole at city hall were just crazy, but memorable.

even as the camp has ended, the challenge for all is to stay real, to walk that narrow road, always holding on tightly to the hand of our Lord.

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow is the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."- Matthew 7: 13-14

"Discipline is the believer's answer to God's call. It is the recognition, not of the solution to his problems or the supply of his needs, but of mastery. God addresses us. We are responsible- that is, we must make a response. We may choose to say yes and thus fulfill the Creator's glorious purpose for us, or we may say no and violate it. This is what is meant by moral responsibility. God calls us to freedom, fulfillment, and joy - but we can refuse them. In a deep mystery, hidden in God's purposes for man before the foundation of the world, lies the truth of man's free will and God's sovereignty. This much we know: a God who is sovereign chose to create a man capable of willing his own freedom and therefore capable of answering the call.

Jesus, in response to the will of the Father, demonstrated what it means to be fully human when He took upon Himself the form of a man and in so doing voluntarily and gladly chose both dependence and obedience. Humanity for us, as for Christ, means both dependence and obedience.......

....... Discipline is the whole-hearted yes to the call of God. When I know myself called, summoned, addressed, taken possession of, known, acted upon, I have heard the Master. I put myself gladly, fully, and forever at His disposal, and to whatever He says my answer is yes."

- Discipline, the glad surrender. By Elisabeth Elliot

"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'
- Mark 12: 29-30

While looking for past youth photos to feast my eyes on (yes, i know i should be mugging hard), I chanced upon this Bible Brain Busters book which someone gave my brother awhile back. It's a good youth resource, because the way it puts forth Bible trivia is very interesting. My brother and I spent some time testing each other and had an incredible amount of fun.

Here's one example from just one of the many categories:

Identify the mystery person.
Heritage: My dad's name was Amoz
Occupation: A prophet
Favourite pasttime: Writing biographies of kings (I wrote two)
Favourite outfit: A mourner's coat
Memorable phrases I've coined: Wonderful Counselor, Prince of Peace
Personal philosophy: You don't always see the fruits of your labour, but you work anyway.
Biggest embarrassment: Naming my son. Maher-shalal-hash-baz.

Interesting eh?

reading week.

i dont' really know how to describe what was going on over the past two days. in between the mugging and hanging out with the youths was this sense of helpless pleading for God's deliverance for someone who has been so instrumental in my life this year.

on one hand, it was a struggle to surrender the outcome and acknowledge God's sovereignty. on the other, His peace did flow like a river and it transcended all understanding. though there still lingers some uncertainty, i really thank God for the successful op today.

indeed, those who trust Him wholly find Him wholly true.

Like a river glorious, is God's perfect peace,
Over all victorious, in its bright increase;
Perfect, yet it floweth, fuller every day,
Perfect, yet it groweth, deeper all the way.
Stayed upon Jehovah, hearts are fully blest
Finding, as He promised, perfect peace and rest.

Hidden in the hollow of His blessed hand,
Never foe can follow, never traitor stand;
Not a surge of worry, not a shade of care,
Not a blast of hurry touch the spirit there.
Stayed upon Jehovah, hearts are fully blest
Finding, as He promised, perfect peace and rest.

Every joy or trial falleth from above,
Traced upon our dial by the Sun of Love;
We may trust Him fully all for us to do.
They who trust Him wholly find Him wholly true.
Stayed upon Jehovah, hearts are fully blest
Finding, as He promised, perfect peace and rest.


Stayed upon Jehovah, hearts are fully blest
Finding as He promised, perfect peace and rest.

"If God wants you to trust Him, He puts you in a place of difficulty. If He wants you to trust Him greatly, He puts you in a place of impossibility. For when a thing is impossible, then we who are so prone to move things by the force of our own being can say, 'Lord, it has to be you. I am utterly, absolutely nothing.' "
-Donald Gray Barnhouse

Heh, I read this quote in one of my books today.

"On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross,
the emblem of suffering and shame;
and I love that old cross where the dearest and best
for a world of lost sinners was slain.

So I'll cherish the old rugged cross,
till my trophies at last I lay down;
I will cling to the old rugged cross,
and exchange it some day for a crown.

O that old rugged cross, so despised by the world,
has a wondrous attraction for me;
for the dear Lamb of God left His glory above
to bear it to dark Calvary.

In that old rugged cross, stained with blood so divine,
a wondrous beauty I see,
for 'twas on that old cross Jesus suffered and died,
to pardon and sanctify me.

To the old rugged cross I will ever be true;
its shame and reproach gladly bear;
then He'll call me some day to my home far away,
where His glory forever I'll share."

haha, i do feel like this is where i am now.

Brokenness
Total obedience
Building intentional relationships
The centrality of the Word
Total dependence on God

These themes have been running through my mind all weekend.

I don't really know how to link this, but this article was a good reminder for me to put Jesus first and to remember that my passion for whatever I do has to come from Jesus alone.

http://www.jesusinside.pe.kr/jesus-first.htm

It'll be a good reminder for all who are serving actively. :) Sorry for the lack of HTML knowledge.

"Sing joyfully to the Lord, you righteous;
it is fitting for the upright to praise Him.
Praise the Lord with the harp;
make music to Him on the ten-stringed lyre.
Sing to Him a new song;
play skillfully, and shout for joy.
For the Word of the Lord is right and true;
He is faithful in all He does.
The Lord loves righteousness and justice;
the earth is full of His unfailing love.
By the Word of the Lord were the heavens made,
their starry host by the breath of His mouth.
He gathers the waters of the sea into jars;
He puts the deep into storehouses.
Let all the earth fear the Lord;
let all the people of the world revere Him.
For He spoke, and it came to be;
He commanded, and it stood firm.
The Lord foils the plans of the nations;
He thwarts the purposes of the peoples.
But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever,
the purposes of His heart through all generations.
Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord,
the people He chose for His inheritance.
From heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind;
from His dwelling place He watches all who live on earth-
He who forms the hearts of all,
who considers everything they do.
No king is saved by the size of his army;
no warrior escapes by his great strength.
A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
despite all its great strength it cannot save.
But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear Him,
on those whose hope is in His unfailing love,
to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine.
We wait in hope for the Lord;
He is our help and our shield.
In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy Name.
May Your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord,
even as we put our trust in You."
-Psalm 33

i wish i could put into words what i am feeling now, or even put up songs to depict what i'm thinking.
but i can't, don't think it's very appropriate.

all i can do is trust and depend on God.

Psalms 33:18-22